Here’s a small glimpse into my life… (it’s long, but there’s a point I promise)
I grew up an only child, you all know that. Which means I’d spend a lot of time in my imagination. I knew that t.v. wasn’t real, but it helped me develop my own thoughts and behaviors. It all started with A Different World.
Before I got into pre-school I would watch that show on the weekends that I wasn’t with my Grandpa and I knew that I wanted to go to college before I fully understood what it was. Some of you remember the opening credits when Julissa tears up the paper and throws it in the air, well I didn’t know at the time that it was her marriage certificate, I thought that was just a part of getting excited about going to school. (here comes the funny) So when my parents found out that I’d been accepted into one of the best public schools in the city, want to guess my reaction? Yes I did tear that post card up and throw it in the air, I was on my way to college, first step, pre-school.
Both of my parents worked long hours so I’d spend a lot of time by myself over the years and I let the t.v. raise me. My grandparents kept me in a missionary Baptist church, but rather that WWJD (what would Jesus do?) I found myself in moral dilemmas asking; “Is this something that would make my family stage an alternate world in which I had to suffer a real life consequence in the safety of my home?”, as I was the honorary other Cosby kid in my head that just didn’t get talked about.
Living this way between the church and the t.v. I learned a lot about relationships, sex, teenage pregnancy, drugs, dancing in public and revealing clothes. It wasn’t until I got to middle school that I found out that nobody operated with any of the principles that I’d held dear. I found myself caring more about fitting in, not being called names or having to fight than nurturing the goal that I’d set for myself long ago in pre-school. I had always been a karate kid, I’ve played the piano and ran track competitively but all of that felt so blah when I hit about 12 and the only thing that people saw was the weird girl who’s face was exploding and was shaped like a board with balloons taped to the back.
One night while sneaking to spend some quality time with my best friend the television I stopped on a comedy show and this woman had me in tears with laughter. She was loud, cussing and she talked about herself the way that people would talk about me, but it made people laugh with her. She made it ok to be the loud dark skinned girl in my world because all I knew at school was “redbone” was the thing to be. She was clearly not a “redbone” yet she’s on television, and the people love her. She held me captive until the end of her set then she gave her name. “I’m Sheryl Underwood, that’s my time, and I want to give a shout out to my Sorors the phenomenal women of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated, Z-Phi!” and she put up her hand and I RAN to the computer (feel free to read that in Sweet Brown’s voice, it was that urgent for me).
Back in those days AOL ran the Internet and I waited patiently for the dial-up to connect, closed out my email and typed in her name on the search box. A pop-up for Sinbad’s trips to Aruba came up and I found a page that gave me a little info, then I found the sorority website. This brought me back to my A Different World days, I remember how excited I was, and how I found a new energy in my pursuit of going to college. I’d almost given up, I was attending a prestigious school but it was so damn scary and filled with drug addicts and whores that I didn’t think I was still interested in going to college because the word around town was that’s the best place to get you prepared to go.
The summer before high school I was put in a young entrepreneur camp and our goal was to run a hot dog stand at the Black Family Reunion. It was hot, we made a good amount of money, but the highlight of that afternoon was when I saw two ladies in Zeta Phi Beta shirts and I was able to tell them that I wanted to be one of them when I grew up. I got the best news ever, and found out they were building a youth group called the Archonettes.
Long story short, I became the President of that youth group. The life lessons, volunteer opportunities, trips, opportunities to express myself and get real answers are still priceless. Even though other life circumstances didn’t allow me to go to college right after high school, the ladies kept in touch with me over the years and I never completely lost my focus or passion to create a situation to have the life that I wanted.
Today I’m a proud member of Pi Sigma Zeta that exact chapter that took me in as a teenager, and tonight when the 23rd International President Sheryl Underwood completes her set at the comedy club in my city with a resounding Z-Phi, I can answer back sitting with my sorority sisters and my life together. I feel like this deserves a Julissa celebratory paper toss. She doesn’t know it but she kind of saved my life. 🙂
Hope you enjoyed. Have an inspirational story to share? Feel free to send me an email marellewrites@gmail.com. Want more information about my sorority visit www.zphib1920.org
Private Thoughts in Public Forum 