Category Archives: train

Please don’t sit next to me…..aww man.

Posted on by
http://www.flickr.com/photos/62835706@N00/218791065/

It’s that time of year for lots of us, traveling for the sake of going somewhere different. No agenda, no grandma’s house, just fun in the sun. The road trippers don’t have much to worry about aside from the gas prices, but everyone else that’s flying, taking the bus or riding a train have a few things on our minds.

1. How can I cram as much as possible into one suitcase without looking like a wrinkle monster attacked me when I get to my destination?

There are so many YouTube videos dedicated to extreme packing that I won’t waste your time here so let’s get to the good part.

2. How do I pick the most comfortable seat without being susceptible to being the one stuck next to big stinky?

(Let’s be clear, big stinky is a general term used for the inconsiderate individual that bathes in cologne, takes up a bunch of space in general regardless of body size, and is overall just the worst seat mate)

I’ve been traveling via planes, and buses since I was a small child. I believe over the years I’ve developed a strategy.

Step One- Stay away from the window!

  •  If big stinky sees that you’ve got the aisle seat, they will most likely avoid sitting there if you’re in an open seating situation
  • You have breathing room in the event that they sprayed an extra bottle of Stetson that day.
  • You can escape if the stuff goes down, there’s nothing worse than being trapped behind a wall of Old Spice (Granddad version) when there’s some type of time constraint.

Step Two- Have a lap full of stuff!

  • Most reasonable people don’t want to inconvenience a person with lots of things in their lap, big stinky is thinking about how long it will take you to get out of the way as well.

Step Three- Avoid Eye Contact

  • Often big stinky is looking for kind eyes that are push overs and won’t stand their ground for the arm rest real estate. Don’t be that Sucka!

Step Four- Ear buds

  • If you can’t hear it, you can’t address it. Just zone out.
  • Even if you’re not listening to anything…..nobody knows that, fake it!

Hopefully these tips help you make it through the traveling phase of your vacation and you can enjoy getting to your destination just as much as arriving.