Sometimes I sit and think about just getting up, packing five pairs of underwear, emptying out all my accounts and just disappear. I imagine paying up my phone bill for the year, filling a backpack with street vending supplies, pulling up non-highway routes on Google maps and riding my bicycle until I can’t stand the seat anymore in any given direction.
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I remember turning 18 and being in tears with the fact that the machine was going to get me. Credit, bills, responsibilities and life in general seemed like everybody was just doing it wrong, and I was going to end up just like them.
There has to be a better way. I played with the idea of becoming a member of a planned community, live in some commune and earn money from my crafts and gardening. I quickly got over that idea. I also thought that I could find a way to reduce my expenditures in my current living situation, but the truth of the matter is, it’s hard to do that without living like a bum.
That thought made me realize that all the things I feared as a child have come to light. Rather than simply acquiring the things that I want to add to my life, I catch myself being suckered into accumulating things that I “ought” to have. So what’s the end game? When will there finally be enough to just sit back and enjoy?
I think the answer is never, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. The key is finding exactly what it is that you want out of life, and forget the rest. I’ll let you know how it goes. This is going to be a big leap for me because I have a hard time having fun.
We’ll see.
Just a second before I hit publish, my credit union called me with a cruise package…. I hear you Universe… I hear you.
Private Thoughts in Public Forum 