The "Right" Thing came up again….

http://www.moveoneinc.com/blog/relocations/getting-a-divorce-abroad/

So I was talking to my older cousin about the traditional nature of our family, and how that method hasn’t proven successful in any of the living generations. Both of our parents (they’re brother and sister) have been divorced at least once, and are either currently, or very recently in jacked up relationships. Also what responsibilities have been passed down to us in that department.

My cousin argues that both she and I will be shamed by our respective parents if we fail to tie the knot with the people that we’ve chosen to be with. This brought on the conversation regarding who’s business is it?

Some of you that have been reading this blog over the years know that I was once married. (If you didn’t know, now you do). There’s nothing more beautiful than a solid marriage. Conversely, there’s also nothing more draining than divorce. If you are getting married without any regard for financial status, earning potential, credit and general financial responsibility, you are asking for a divorce. Billionaires (as in each partner independently) are the only people that can afford to marry without thinking about money. It will amplify every disagreement, bar you from making life goals and stir up resentment if you do not go into a situation with a clear, mutually agreed upon game plan or at least have the same things.

I used to hear church folks throw around unequally yoked, and most of the times they pulled that out the pocket when you wanted to marry outside of your belief system. As I’ve grown older and realized that it’s $25 in and $1500+ out, unequally yoked encompasses much more than who you pray to. What you strive for, how you make decisions and where you’re starting educationally and financially makes for a more useful conversation than religion alone.

The end of the conversation rested with me telling her that the best solution, at least right now, is to stay in love, stay together, but don’t sign anything!

This will be my last post on the subject, I’m tired of talking about it, so I can imagine that you’re sick of reading it, but let me know if I’m off. Feel free to comment, my cousin reads the blog. I need an Amen corner, or someone to tell me I’m wrong. Have at it so we can put this to bed once and for all.

The "Right" Thing.

It’s hard being smart and in love. Considerably so if you grow up in a traditional family. There’s part of you that’s been bred to believe that when you’re in love you get married, buy a house, have kids and live out the good and bad times.

In any amount of living, observing and learning, you find that love is not the only relevant factor. The traditional, dare I say Disney, idea of marriage completely contradicts what the government does to a couple. If you don’t get married right out of high school it’s almost too late. The debts accrued on either party’s behalf can bring to a halt any financial progress of the couple as a unit.

So what do you do when you love someone that has horrible credit due to either ignorance of the process or predatory lending? One could say leave and find someone that’s got it together. But how far will that take you emotionally? It’s not often that you find someone that you can completely be yourself with, do you abandon that in an effort to be able to live traditionally? Or do you say screw being manipulated by social norms and create your own situation?

These are the things that cross ones mind when you so badly have an urge to fall in line with what you’ve been made to believe is the right thing. Which leads me to wonder if it’s all a scam.

I’d like to hear your thoughts on it.